Conquering Fears

Fear is a funny thing. Its something we all find ourselves unable to escape, and somehow controls all of our lives in one-way or another. Whether that fear be of heights, spiders or something even as serious as death itself, we all find ourselves falling victim to these stressors again and again. For me, public speaking has been that certain boogieman hiding in my closet at night. I often find myself unable to breathe, shaking uncontrollably, and my heart beating out of my chest whenever I am presenting in front of a class. But like all fears, we must come to terms with them eventually. When I first heard I had to present in front of the class for this speech, and was going to be graded heavily on it, I admit I lost some sleep at night. Even the thought of getting up in front of the class for three minutes without even a single notecard sent shivers down my spine and butterflies in my stomach. I am often an overachiever and the thought of not having control over something due to my natural physical response to fear drove me crazy.

However, because of that I practiced night and day to perfect my speech. I would find myself in the shower, the mirror, or in front of everyone on my floor going over it again and again until I’m positive that everyone wanted me to switch dorms. When the day finally came for me to give my speech, and I walked up to the front of the classroom and I experienced something different then the feeling I am so accustomed to when it comes to public speaking. Yes, I was shaking, but I actually felt confident in my ability to deliver an amazing speech. Now, watching myself up there, I have to admit I am a little proud. Not because of the fact I didn’t stutter, or blank out, or even faint, but because I took something that use to be my most sacred fear and turned it into something that I could conquer.  I actually looked confident up there and articulated my words well. I talked slowly enough and added dramatic pauses where I needed them to be. The points I made looked well thought-out and well informed. However, I think I could work on the authenticity of what I was saying because it sounded slightly fake due to how much I had rehearsed, but other than that I couldn’t be happier. I think what I could mostly improve is how comfortable I am in front of the audience. I have to take baby steps, but I hope to move to a point where I don’t necessarily have to rehearse every spare second of everyday, and can come across more natural in the points I am making. This was a huge turning point in a fear that used to control my life. Slowly but surely, I hope to someday be able to hear of a speech being assigned and not instantly have the desire to run for the emergency exit. Until then however, I feel content in the fact that me, Megan Quillen, delivered a successful speech.